Jibes, Barbs and Slurs

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words ….

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this
wasn’t it.”
– Groucho Marx

Photo by Elle Hughes on Pexels.com

Sunrise? Sunset?

I’ve been trying to stay positive throughout the whole hideous pandemic but this week it’s gotten the best of me.

We’re fortunate enough to be sheltering in place near the ocean where we’ve been able to stay sane with daily beach walks and lovely, clear air. Unless Wednesday.

I woke up to what looked like a vivid sunset, along with the dense, acrid smell of smoke. US readers will know that we are facing massive wildfires on the west coast, and even our little corner of Oregon is not immune, as there have been outbreaks to the north and east of us. While we’re intensely lucky not to have to evaculate thus far (fingers crossed), the air remains at a dangerously unhealthy level so all outdoor activities are curtailed for now.

Suddenly, sheltering in place is even more claustrophobic, while my anxiety is skyrocketing and even minor annoyances feel overwhelming. Praying for rain.

OK, enough whining; how about some activism? In news from London, thirty bare-breasted women locked themselves to the railings outside Britain’s Houses of Parliament to demand action on climate change. Members of Extinction Rebellion, they’d written the dire consequences of global warming on their bodies to call attention to our world’s predicament.

I’d go topless too if I were a few decades younger.

9:45 AM on Wednesday!

Good News Monday: Fat Bear Week is Almost Here

While many of us have been gaining weight in hibernation, the brown bears in Alaska‘s Katmai National Park & Preserve have taken it to a whole new level. After all, they do this every year.

Beginning September 30, we can all vote for our favorite fatty — which is sure to be far more entertaining than the US elections we’re dreading in November.

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Photo by Vincent M.A. Janssen on Pexels.com

Good News Monday: Filling in the Gaps in African-American History

The Smithsonian Museum and the National Museum of African American History and Culture are tracking down important data about newly freed individuals who lived in the South after the Civil War.

The website reports that 90,000 pages of Freedmen’s Bureau images (including letters, marriage and birth records, and more) have already been transcribed by more than 9,000 volunteers, making it the largest crowdsourcing initiative ever sponsored by the Smithsonian.

With the help of people working from home — where most of us remain during these days of sheltering in place — they’ve unlocked a wealth of names and stories.  If there are gaps in your own family tree, this is a great way to get involved!

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Photo by 3Motional Studio on Pexels.com

 

U.S. Conservatism Down Since Start of 2020

Good News Monday: Only progressive thinking will solve our dire climate and intolerance issues.

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The number of people that identify as conservative in the United States is decreasing and most adults under the age of 35 consider themselves to be liberals rather than conservatives.

https://news.gallup.com/poll/316094/conservatism-down-start-2020.aspx

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Good News Monday: COVID Immunity

Reprinted from today’s New York Times

Is herd immunity ahead of schedule?

Mumbai may be among the cities that have already achieved herd immunity, scientists say.Indranil Mukherjee/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

Today, we’re turning this section over to our colleague Apoorva Mandavilli, who has been covering the pandemic for The Times’s Science desk.

The pandemic will end only when enough people are protected against the coronavirus, whether by a vaccine or by already having been infected. Reaching this threshold, known as herd immunity, doesn’t mean the virus will disappear. But with fewer hosts to infect, it will make its way through a community much more slowly.

In the early days of the crisis, scientists estimated that perhaps 70 percent of the population would need to be immune in this way to be free from large outbreaks. But over the past few weeks, more than a dozen scientists told me they now felt comfortable saying that herd immunity probably lies from 45 percent to 50 percent.

If they’re right, then we may be a lot closer to turning back this virus than we initially thought.

It may also mean that pockets of New York City, London, Mumbai and other cities may already have reached the threshold, and may be spared a devastating second wave.

The initial calculations into herd immunity assumed that everyone in a community was equally susceptible to the virus and mixed randomly with everyone else.

The new estimates are the product of more sophisticated statistical modeling. When scientists factor in variations in density, demographics and socialization patterns, the estimated threshold for herd immunity falls.

In some clinics in hard-hit Brooklyn neighborhoods, up to 80 percent of people who were tested at the beginning of the summer had antibodies for the virus. Over the past eight weeks, fewer than 1 percent of people tested at those same neighborhood clinics have had the virus.

Likewise in Mumbai, a randomized household survey found that about 57 percent of people who live in the poorest areas and share toilets had antibodies, compared with just 11 percent elsewhere in the city.

It’s too early to say with certainty that those communities have reached herd immunity. We don’t know, for example, how long someone who was infected stays protected from the coronavirus. But the data suggests that the virus may move more slowly in those areas the next time around.

My Big, Dysfunctional Family

Our little neighborhood in Oregon is a magnet for drama.  To paraphrase the wonderful Alexander McCall Smith, “When people don’t have enough to do, they turn on their neighbors.”*

This community depends on its owners to run things, which might be ok if we weren’t a bunch of amateurs — some well-meaning; some self-serving. Many are retired executives who haven’t quite grasped that nobody here actually works for them. This leads to micromanagement, incompetence, and finger-pointing. Our motto should be “Once burned, twice shy” because we put a big bullseye on our backs the moment we volunteer.  After doing your bit, who needs more aggravation unless you’re a certified martyr or control freak?

The problem is that we’re all part of an extended “family” living in close proximity but connected only by the circumstance of choosing to live in the same neighborhood and, otherwise, having little in common.

Were this a Regency play, the cast of characters might read as follows:

Sir Bluffalot: “Whenever I’m wrong, bullying has always worked for me.”

Mr. Bragalot: (Bluffalot’s illegitimate brother) The self-styled expert on everything, no matter how trivial.

Our Lady of Perpetual Discord: Creates conflict so she can swoop in to solve it, ignoring pesky facts that might contradict her cast-iron assumptions.

Saint Gossipus: Want everyone to know your dire financial situation? Tell Saint G.

Aunt Sweety: A beautiful soul who sees the good in everyone.

Cousin It’sTheirFault: She takes no responsibility for her part in events since it’s much easier to blame others.

Uncle High Dudgeon: No issue is too small to overreact.

Miss Representation: Loyal subject of Saint Gossipus, the truth is a pliable commodity.

The Twins, Pitiful Pearl and Timid Timmy: “Please, someone else, solve my problems for me.”

Lord Blinker: Storms into battle for the woman he loves, armed only with outrage.

Sister Sycophant: “I can’t be bothered to find out anything, so I’ll just mix up a big batch of Kool-Aid and pass out the straws.”

The Moral of the Story: Hire professional management. If that’s impossible, avoid all meetings, curl up with a good book, sleuth out some trustworthy friends, and enjoy a nice glass of wine.

Cheers!

action alcohol art beverage

Photo by Posawee Suwannaphati on Pexels.com

*”If you don’t have things to keep you busy, you end up starting fights with your neighbours.” — The Second-Worst Restaurant in France

 

The Summer of COVID

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What’s better than an early morning barefoot walk along a deserted beach? The sand rubbing away rough skin, the tang of the ocean, the whoosh of the waves… all contribute to a feeling of deep peacefulness — temporary, but still restorative.

Here a few scenes from this week’s excursions, plus a useful hack at the end.

The starfish returns

After years of decimation by disease, we’re finally seeing a resurgence of glorious orange and purple sea stars.

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Nature’s patterns

Sand crabs create patterns that suggest a rose and its leaves. Others mirror a grove of trees.

Some plants grow anywhere

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Ducks: They’re just like us — calm on the surface, paddling furiously to stay afloat

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A surreal beachscape

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Summer hack: How to keep sand from sticking to feet

First of all, why does it stick? Sand is highly hydrophilic (“water-loving”), i.e., water molecules attach to each grain. This creates tiny water channels that attract additional moisture from anything that’s even slightly damp.

What to do? Shake a little baby powder on your feet. It’s even more hydrophilic than sand, so the grains should fall away. Also, the powder is less sticky and any residue is more easily brushed off when you leave the beach.

Happy Random Day

Not only is today a lot like yesterday — and probably tomorrow — but I don’t seem to be able to focus on one particular topic. A few things are buzzing around my brain. First up:

Can You Get COVID-19 Twice?

As with everything else, nobody has a clear opinion. Or they change faster than a politician’s election strategy.

Reported in today’s Washington Post:

Doctors emphasize there is no evidence of widespread vulnerability to reinfection and that it is difficult to know what to make of these cases in the absence of detailed lab work, or medical studies documenting reinfections. Some people could be suffering from a reemergence of the same illness from virus that had been lurking somewhere in their body, or they could have been hit with a different virus with similar symptoms. Their positive COVID-19 tests could have been false positives — a not-insignificant possibility given accuracy issues with some tests — or picked up dead remnants of virus, as authorities believe happened in hundreds of people who tested positive after recovering in South Korea.

Suspect Sanitizer

The FDA has warned that some hand sanitizer brands labeled as containing ethyl alcohol actually contain a much more dangerous ingredient.

The agency reported that there has been an increase in hand sanitizers that have tested positive for methanol, or wood alcohol. If methanol is absorbed through the skin, it can cause blindness and hospitalizations; even death if ingested.  For the complete list, go to FDA hand sanitizer updates.

Men and #MeToo

It’s not just women who’ve been harassed by men in power.  This fascinating article looks at how some men have suffered too. And no, they weren’t the abusers.

Life In 3-D

How about a random mantra? Decode the problem. Decide the next steps. Deliver change.

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(Random beach photo from a recent walk)