Traveling with another person is the ultimate blind date. Do you like to do the same things? Are they overly assertive or passive compared to you? How would they handle a stressful situation?
With luck, you find a partner, spouse or friend whose rhythms match your own. But what about a trip with another couple, your extended family, or someone you don’t know well? That’s a real litmus test.
Mostly, I’ve had wonderful experiences. A trip to London with S forged a friendship that’s lasted for decades. DH and I took a European vacation early in our relationship and learned that we were able to cope when things didn’t go as planned. And our recent visit to Charleston was successful because my friend T and I talked frankly in advance about what we all wanted – or didn’t want – to do there.
Other trips have been a challenge. Beware of these types of travelers!
The Sloppy Drunk. I’m all for having a good time. But when my ex-husband fell into the bushes after a booze cruise and had to be dragged out by a sailor I should have saluted that red flag and called off the wedding. Live and learn.
Druggie Howser. Similar to the Sloppy Drunk, Druggie will score whatever he can, wherever he travels. An ex-beau bought weed and hashish from a complete stranger when we were in Morocco in the 70’s… did ‘ya learn nothing from the movie Midnight Express??
Sir (or Lady) Bossypants has researched every heritage site, museum, etc. within an inch of its life and is a self-styled expert on all topics relating to the places they insist on dragging you to and Will. Not. Shut. Up. About.
The Slowpoke moves at a different – dare I say, glacial – pace. Unless you are a very patient person (unlike myself) this will drive you stark staring insane.
The Obsessive Planner follows a rigid schedule. By which I mean never, ever deviates from it. You’re enjoying chatting up the owner of a local art gallery? Too bad; gotta get to the next thing on the list. NOW.
Mr. Spontaneity, on the other hand, NEVER wants to plan ahead. You might arrive in another country without a hotel reservation, as happened to a friend of mine many years ago. In high season.
The Hysteric. S*** happens. Train schedules change. Planes get grounded. Connections get missed. Places are unexpectedly closed. You do not want to travel with someone who is totally unhinged by this. Trust me.
Morning vs Night. My father was a morning person. My mother stayed up until 2 AM and slept until noon. On family trips, we had to squeeze all activities between 1:00 and 8:00 PM. Know which one you – and your traveling companions – are, and plan accordingly.
The Cheapskate. Bargain-hunter in the extreme. Will only eat street food, go to a museum on the one free day, stay at a Motel 6, or take the bus even though you risk arriving at your destination after closing.
Hey Big Spender. There are two subcategories: Ms. Moneybags (who can afford it) and Mr. Moocher (money is no object because you’re footing the bill). Watch out for anyone who has no understanding of – or respect for – your finances.
Michelin Or Bust. Michelin-starred restaurants can be terrific — unless you have a sensitive stomach or wallet. Our last Michelin meal was so rich, both DH and I tossed our (artisanal) cookies within an hour of returning to our hotel room. Next time, we’ll suggest our friends dine alone, check out the simple place around the corner and meet up for an after-dinner coffee.
The Bottom Line: Pre-Planning
- Discuss expectations and set ground rules in advance, even if it feels awkward. Especially if you’re traveling with another couple or someone you don’t know well.
- Be honest about how you want to spend your time. Be open to compromise unless an activity will bore or annoy you. For example, don’t go shopping just because your friend loves it if you know you’ll hate every minute. A reluctant companion is no fun for either of you!
- Benefit from others’ expertise. Some of our friends are serious foodies and love to research the newest or best-reviewed places in town. I’m happy to let them pick the restaurants since I don’t care all that much.
- Eating out with others? Get separate checks. You won’t feel guilty if you have that extra drink or order something more expensive.
- Travel with people who have similar resources. If you’re on a budget, make sure you don’t get sucked into spending outside your own comfort zone. On the other hand, if you always stay in a suite you may feel resentful if you get a standard room like theirs to be “polite”.
Enjoy traveling this big, wonderful world of ours!
HOW TO UNTANGLE NECKLACES and FIX KNOTS IN A CHAIN
TIP ONE Apply a drop of baby oil to the knot(s). This will make the chain slippery and the knot will come undone more easily when you pull on it. If the knot is still tight, roll it gently with your fingers until it begins to loosen. Once you’ve untangled the knot, rinse the baby oil off your necklace using a mild liquid soap.
TIP TWO Insert a straight pin into the center of the knot, then slowly wiggle it around, gently lifting/pulling it upwards. You may need to do this a few different ways to loosen particularly tight tangles. To avoid breaking your necklace, be careful not to pull too hard or catch any openings in the chain.
TIP THREE Sprinkle baby powder on the knot. This will act as a lubricant and make the chains easier to separate. Once you’ve untangled the knot, rinse off the baby powder using mild soap.
TIP FOUR To prevent tangling, store long chains on a multi-hook hanger in your closet.
Ah, if only it were this simple to untangle ourselves from dead-end jobs, family drama and bad relationships!
Happy Wednesday! Two clever tips caught my eye this week.
How to remove oil stains
Ever dripped olive oil on your clothes, or is it just me? I recently read that one surprising item will remove the stains if you act quickly.
The usual go-to’s are dish soap and laundry detergent, which break down oil. The surprise: aloe vera. You simply soak the stained area in water and rub the gel into the stain. Next, hand-wash the piece and allow it to air-dry.
My question: if you’re hand washing with soap anyway, who’s to say the aloe vera made the difference? But, worth a try if you already have it in the house!
How to keep white sneakers white
Unlike when I was a kid, pristine sneakers are the desired look these days. And the best way to keep them white is to wash them in the washing machine.
Step 1: The night before, sprinkle about 3 tablespoons of baking soda on the outside and inside of your shoes. Be sure to dust it off before you wash them.
Step 2: Remove shoelaces, place in a pillowcase or wash bag and put them in the washer. Taking the laces out of your sneakers makes sure they get totally clean and no remaining dirt stays caked on under the holes.
Step 3: Use a shoe brush or old toothbrush to remove any loose dirt before you put your (lace-less) shoes in the washer.
Step 4: Next, add several towels. The towels act as a buffer between the shoes and the washer, preventing them from getting too knocked around or damaged during the wash cycle. Putting your sneakers in a separate wash bag adds extra protection.
Step 5: Set your washer on the cold delicate cycle and use liquid detergent. No chlorine bleach!
Step 6: Let your sneakers air dry after washing. Never put any type of shoes in the dryer, as the extreme heat will warp rubber or metal details.
A couple of nights ago, we watched the 2012 movie Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. The premise: an asteroid is hurtling towards Earth and will wipe out everyone in 3 weeks.
What would you do? Here’s my exit strategy.
Liquidate savings, leaving just a little in case the forecast is, you know, wrong.
Fly (first class of course) to a remote tropical island with a 5-star resort. Pack tons of books, many bottles of limited edition Islay whiskey, and sunscreen. (My end-of-life scenario doesn’t include suffering from painful sunburn.)
Check into our suite, having reserved all the rooms on the floor so as not to endure fighting couples or screaming children.
- Walk on the beach. No sense meeting my Maker with flabby thighs.
- Have a 3-hour massage, with one hour spent on neck and shoulders.
- Drink steadily but only to maintain pleasant buzz, not hangover.
- Have dessert at lunch and dinner. Who’s judging?
- Have sex. OK, maybe not EVERY day.
Binge-watch all 19 seasons of Midsomer Murders. Mysteries are soothing because bad guys always get caught. Unlike life.
Be friendly but don’t waste a minute with anyone who is boring or mean.
Consume plenty of fresh papaya, mango and strawberries. End-of-days plan should not include constipation.
See glorious sunsets.
Gorge on cheese and chocolate. Cholesterol be damned.
Snuggle up with my sweetie every night. Drift off remembering every nice thing that’s ever happened to me.
There are worse ways to go.
Photo source: Pixabay
Calling all ladies, drag queens, and overly-enthusiastic lovers: If you’ve ever gotten lipstick on your clothes (e.g., on the collar as you pulled a blouse or sweater over your head, or on your sleeve as you brushed your hair) you’ll appreciate the following advice I found online.
After you stop swearing, act quickly and there’s a good chance you can salvage the situation and avoid a permanent stain on your shirt or reputation.
(Adapted from WhoWhatWear)
- Remove excess lipstick. Using the smooth edge of a butter knife or credit card, gently scrape off any pieces you can without rubbing more into the fabric. This keeps the stain from spreading.
- Blot with alcohol. Dampen a clean cloth or cotton square with isopropyl (“rubbing”) alcohol. Dab gently (don’t rub!); then, rinse the fabric thoroughly with cold water. For delicate or vividly-dyed fabrics, test an inconspicuous area first to make sure the color won’t run.
- Apply stain remover if the stain persists. Although eco-friendly stain removers tend to be gentler on fabric, stubborn stains may require a chemical-based product. Either way, check the care label before using a stain remover.
- Wash with liquid detergent. Submerge the stained area in warm water and rub gently, using a small amount of liquid detergent. (Note: very hot water can cause the stain to “bleed”.) Once the stain is hard to see, machine washing should be safe.
- Another option: hairspray. Spray hairspray directly onto the stain and let it sit for 10 to 15 minutes. Dip a clean cloth in warm water and gently blot the stain. This should remove both the hairspray and the lipstick.
If all else fails, visit your dry cleaner.
A quick Google search reveals that the first use of “dry” cleaning (which is, in fact, a wet process using solvents instead of water) was to get stains out of togas. You’ll be happy to know that modern methods no longer use ammonia derived from urine, which was the ancient Roman method. Ewww.
Today, clothes are loaded into a machine that looks similar to a regular washing machine, and dry-cleaning chemicals are added. One of the most common solvents is tetrachloroethylene, aka perchlorethylene (“perc”), which has fallen out of favor due to health and environmental concerns. As a result, there’s been more widespread demand for biodegradable alternatives such as siloxane.
Finally, here’s a totally random hack I love: To shorten sleeves on a blazer or coat without tailoring, gather the inside sleeve fabric at the elbow and secure with a safety pin. Genius!
My new hair stylist says:
“As we get older, our hair should get softer and our clothes more structured.”
Words to live by! Layers of flow-y fabrics can make us look shapeless, while sharply angled, severe or stiff hair styles can be a harsh contrast to a softening jawline.
January brings with it not only the predictable resolutions (eat less, floss more) but also the sobering bills resulting from December splurges on gifts and entertaining.
If you love fashion, January can be a minefield of temptation. Below are 10 ways to trim your fashion budget this (or any) month, no matter your age:
- Break the browsing habit. Whether you’re scrolling or strolling, something’s sure to catch your eye. Unless you need a specific item to fill a gap in your wardrobe or replace an old/worn-out/ill-fitting favorite, resist!
- Likewise, note inspirational looks on Pinterest, Instagram or in magazines; then bookmark and set aside to see if you’re still obsessed next month.
- Don’t buy multiples or duplicates of stuff you already have. Chances are, one of your many black blazers is still your go-to.
- Save on tailoring. Yes, it makes everything look better but try to limit yourself to clothes that fit you right now.
- Skip the sales. You’ve undoubtedly heard the advice, “If you wouldn’t buy it at full price don’t buy it on sale.” You’ll avoid temptation and shopping regrets.
- Put your monthly fashion fix subscription box on hold. If it doesn’t arrive on your doorstep, you won’t crave that new belt, scarf, blouse etc.
- Avoid dry-clean-only purchases. They add significantly to the price of an item.
- Be careful when ordering from overseas e-tailers. Shipping costs can be significant, especially if you need to return your purchase.
- Similarly, don’t order from places without generous return policies and free shipping. That Chanel jacket on RealReal may seem like a bargain, but if it doesn’t fit you’ve just blown real money sending it back.
- Space out your beauty appointments. Extending the time between haircuts by 2 weeks (say, every 10 weeks instead of every 8) can save you the cost of two appointments per year.
Happy New Year, dear readers and fellow bloggers! And here’s hoping that 2018 is better than 2017 – a pretty sucky year worldwide.