Is Frumpiness a Badge of Honor?

12 Replies

Or simply another form of vanity?

I’ve met a lot of 55+ women lately who are grey from head to toe: hair, skin, drab shapeless clothing — although they all have vibrant personalities. And I’m wondering whether choosing not to adopt a flattering haircut — with or without color — or even a swipe of lipstick is meant as a signal that they are “serious people”.

Back in the day, my grandmother would describe being “put together” as “making an effort”. And I see this not only as a matter of self-respect but as respect for others, especially if you’re going to be a guest in someone’s home.

I’ve always been interested in fashion, including an early foray into costume design, and taken pleasure in clothes and accessories I find attractive. It’s less a question of pursuing youthfulness than simple enjoyment. That said, the inner me doesn’t want to look like an old hag, either.

Hats off to the 80+ year old woman I’ve been running into who flaunts brightly-dyed unnaturally red hair, a tangle of necklaces, and cheerful sweaters. Her appearance always makes me smile.

So I wonder if giving up on all that is supposed to be a badge of honor — “I have more important things to do/think about” or simply the result of not knowing how to look better or deciding — yes, I think it’s a decision — not to care.

This is true of men as well — hello, daily sweatpants — but culturally unsurprising.

What do you think, dear readers?

Photo by Godisable Jacob on Pexels.com

12 thoughts on “Is Frumpiness a Badge of Honor?”

  3. Sheri Heckel

    Hello my dear,

    An old boyfriend’s mother told me a long time ago that I shouldn’t walk out with naked toes. I’ve painted my toenails ever since and shake my head at women who don’t. My Mother always said she couldn’t go out without putting her face on. And that consisted of powder and lipstick.

    So…I was raised to care how I looked. To have respect for my appearance and get respect, you have to care how you present yourself to the world. I don’t ever leave the house without a little make-up and my hair is dyed and cut regularly. My clothes are appropriate to where I’m going and are clean and neat. I love fashion but a person can buy classic clothing that stays in style too. I try to loose weight but that’s a battle I’m not winning.

    I work with women half my age and would not want to look too old or outdated. So looking a bit younger is important to me.
    I don’t feel old so why should I look like I’ve given up??

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply ↓
    1. Cherryl

      Nobody ever told me not to go out with naked toes lol but I feel unfinished without polish on my finger nails and toenails, sounds silly but it’s always been a niggly thing with me because of the difference it makes. It’s the little things….

      Like

      Reply ↓
  4. adguru101 Post author

    Wise words, dear friend! Love your last sentence “I don’t feel old so why should I look like I’ve given up??”!! And yes, looking nice doesn’t have to cost a lot of money.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓
  5. Cherryl

    Regardless of the look or the style, we all feel an energy from the fact that someone appears to have made an effort, including personal grooming. It lifts the mood in a room, creates a ‘feel good factor’ that is addictive, inspiring and uplifting – so I do think it makes a positive difference when we care, and make a visual effort.✨

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

Leave a comment