Scenes From a Derm Convention

Much as I dislike having my yearly skin check, I always enjoy chatting with my dermatologist, especially about the crazy things women (it’s mostly women) will do in our mostly futile attempts to defeat the march of time.

She had me laughing during my otherwise unpleasant squamous surgery with the following report.

Dr. D had recently attended a dermatology conference.  She said you could tell at a glance what everyone’s specialties were.  The cosmetic derms all had the age-indeterminate, inflated look you get when you have unlimited access to fillers, Botox and multiple procedures. Designer clothes, Jimmy Choos and Birkins were de rigueur. She observed a lot of air kisses with this group; a vigorous hug could potentially squash an implant or two.

Dr. D says about cosmetic work, “Never make the critical mistake of only looking at the mirror straight on.” We need to know how we look from all angles, lest we resemble a blowfish in heat.

In contrast, the doctors involved with serious medicine such as reconstruction for burn victims had the slightly distracted look of people who wished they were somewhere else.  They greeted each other with firm handshakes; no frivolous air kisses for these folks.

One of the lectures dealt with a client whose complaint was that her labia were uneven. (One wonders how she knew that.)  In any event, she’d had cosmetic surgery to repair the issue — I forgot to ask whether one side was inflated or the other side deflated. Next visit! But as Dr. D says, “If you’re with a man who loses interest at the point he can tell that your labia are uneven, you have much bigger problems!”

Finally, here is one of my favorite anecdotes:

One of Dr. D’s clients tried Botox and complained that it “didn’t work” and that she didn’t look any different. Her husband told Dr. D in confidence, “You’ve saved our marriage.”

Apparently, every time the poor man offered a suggestion about where to have dinner or something equally benign, his wife would scowl at him. To avoid an argument, he’d usually change the subject.

Now that she doesn’t scowl, he continues talking and is amazed how often she will be receptive or even agree with him!

6 thoughts on “Scenes From a Derm Convention

  1. lady sarah in london

    I never considered Botox, not yet anyway. The thing that put me off most, is looking at a bunch of women in affluent Knightsbridge parts of London. They look ridiculous with lips that are disproportionately big for their face. I mean… why can’t they see that? There is also a blogger with those lips…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. adguru101 Post author

    You are so right! Remember how pretty Lindsay Lohan looked before she inflated her lips?!? btw I’ve read that, for younger women, injecting Botox in the frown lines they call the “11s” between our eyebrows can prevent them ever developing. And it’s supposed to help relieve migraines too.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. adguru101 Post author

        Don’t remember as it was awhile ago but I would suggest you ask your doctor; migraines are miserable! I used to write advertising for migraine meds and remember how much people suffered.


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