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About adguru101

Formerly a creative director and writer at NY and NJ ad agencies, I'm now retired and living in Oregon, USA, with my husband and countless dust balls. With this blog, I specifically hope to reach "mid-century moderns" -- women born in the '50's -- with content and observations about the issues we deal with every day. But I welcome all readers of any age, sex, orientation, etc… you youngsters will eventually be my age too, and I love reading everyone’s comments!

A quick share

I love this blog, and the recipe looks fantastic, so I wanted to share the link with all of you:

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2016/05/sable-bretons-french-butter-cookie-recipe/

Go to the Web site for all his photos and details.

Sables Breton
About 30 cookies

Adapted from Little Flower Baking by Christine Moore

More than other types of cookie, these are quite sensitive to being overbaked. Some might like them darker, but I prefer mine a little less, which allows for the flavor of the salt and butter to come through. I recommend baking them one sheet at a time on the middle rack of the oven. Even in a convection oven, I find if you bake these on the lower rack, they’ll cook too quickly on the bottom.

It helps if you can make room in the refrigerator or freezer before you start rolling the cookies so you chill the baking sheets with the unbaked cookies on them. Chilling them makes it easier to score them with a fork, but if you work fast – like I did – you can probably get away with not chilling them.

I reduced the baking powder in the original recipe, but it’s still imperative that you use aluminum-free baking powder because these have a bit more leavening than other cookie recipes. Regular baking powder has a tinny taste, and you want to avoid that in these buttery treats.

2/3 cup (5.2 ounces, 150g) best-quality salted butter, at room temperature
2 teaspoons flaky sea salt, such as fleur de sel or Maldon
4 large egg yolks
1 cup (200g) sugar
1 3/4 cups (210g) all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons aluminum-free baking powder
1 egg
1 teaspoon of water
1. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, or by hand in a bowl with a sturdy silicone spatula, cream the butter and salt together on low speed until smooth, about 30 seconds.

2. In a separate bowl, whisk the egg yolks, gradually adding the sugar while whisking, until the yolks are light and fluffy – about a minute. With the mixer on low, add the egg yolks to the butter, stopping the mixer to scrape down any butter clinging to the sides so it all gets incorporated.

3. Sift together the flour and baking powder in a small bowl, then stir that into the creamed butter mixture until it’s completely incorporated. (Don’t overmix it.)

4. Pat the dough into a rectangle about 1-inch (3cm) thick, wrap in plastic, and chill for an hour. (The dough can be made up to five days in advance, and stored in the refrigerator.)

5. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Have a pastry scrape or thin metal spatula handy.

6. Cut the rectangle of dough in half and place one piece between two large sheets of parchment paper. Roll the dough until it is between 1/3- to 1/2-inch (1,25cm) thick. Peel off the top piece of parchment paper and, using a 2-inch (5cm) round cookie cutter, cut out circles of dough, place them on the prepared baking sheet at least 1/2-inch (2cm) apart. You may need to coax them off the parchment with the pastry scraper or spatula.

7. Roll the second piece of dough, cut out circles, and put them on the other baking sheet. (Scraps can be gathered up and rerolled to make additional cookies.) Chill the baking sheets of cookies in the refrigerator or freezer until firm.

8. To bake the cookies, preheat the oven to 350ºF (180ºC). Adjust the oven rack to the middle of the oven.

9. Beat the egg in a small bowl with the teaspoon of water. Remove one sheet of cookies from the refrigerator or freezer. Brush the tops of the cookies with the egg wash then use a fork to cross hatch a pattern on the tops of the cookies. Bake the cookies until the tops are golden brown, about 15 minutes, rotating the baking sheet in the oven midway during baking.

10. Remove the cookies from the oven and let cool on a wire rack. Brush the second baking sheet of cookies with the egg wash, rake a pattern across the tops with a fork, and bake them.

Storage: The unrolled dough can be chilled for up to 5 days or frozen for up to two months. Once baked, the cookies will keep for up to four days in an airtight container.

Diary of a Photo Facial

If time has etched its passage with dark spots, broken capillaries and other evidence of sun damage, you may want to consider having a photo facial at your dermatologist or plastic surgeon’s office. I’ve been going every six months for a couple of years and, while it’s not what anyone would call a relaxing spa treatment, it’s definitely effective.

There are several different types of machines; each delivers targeted heat and light to pigmented areas. Stephanie, my esthetician, explained that her office uses BBL (Broad Band Light, made by Siton) because it provides a full range of options for true customization. Many other machines are pre-set, making them somewhat more limited.

Photo facials target the pigment in the skin to lighten areas of damage. The combination of light and heat also strengthens and builds collagen, the main protein in your body that supports your skin and diminishes over time.

Different skin colors require different treatment, and in fact African American skin, which obviously has the most pigment, would burn if subjected to pulsed light. The darker your skin, the more conservative your facialist will be with the setting. Pale and freckled skin like mine can tolerate the strongest heat and often has the most visible results because the initial contrast is so noticeable.

Make sure to discontinue the use of retinol a week before treatment, as it will make your skin overly sensitive. You may also want to stop using glycolic acid, although that’s less of an issue. I also recommend taking acetaminophen before your session.

Here’s what happens:

  1. Stephanie takes a “before” photo with all my spots on display. Depressing!
  2. I lie down on the padded bench and tuck in my shirt collar since she’s going to zap my neck and chest. (Your derm might have you take off your top and cover you with a towel.)
  3. After cleansing my skin to remove all traces of sunblock, moisturizer etc., she puts eyeshades on my eyes to protect them from the intense light.
  4. She then spreads ultrasound gel (cold and thick) on the areas to be treated. The gel acts as both a heat conductor and protector against burning.
  5. YOWZA!! Stephanie carefully, thoroughly and painfully zaps each spot with a pinprick of bright light. Some people describe it as like a rubber band snapping against your skin. I won’t lie… it hurts, though some places are less sensitive than others and the sensation lasts a fraction of a second. Again, depending on your skin tone and texture, it might not be as uncomfortable for you as it is for me. For instance, it doesn’t hurt much on my chest or hands.

When the session is done, Stephanie wipes off the ultrasound gook and lightly spreads on a soothing lotion. My face is a bit red and swollen, so I pop some oral arnica tablets and apply arnica lotion when I get home (make sure you don’t go near your eyes since the fumes are strong.) When more heat is used, the more swelling you can expect; it will subside after a few days at the most. Cool compresses help too.

Spots are darker immediately after treatment, but you can easily cover them with makeup. The first time I did this I was noticeably blotchy, especially on my hands; with regular sessions it’s not nearly as obvious. Don’t expect to see results for at least three or four weeks. The dark spots will crust over and fall off on their own. Meanwhile, be extra vigilant about using a broad-spectrum sunblock (at least 30 SPF)– which you already know you should do anyway, right?

By the way, pulsed light doesn’t go deeper than the top layer of skin, so it will not affect fillers or other deep-layer injectables.

Don’t expect miracles and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how nice you look with fewer of those nasty age spots!

Ms. StrangeLove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About My Kids

Sorry; this is an outright lie. If you’re a parent – whether to a child, dog, or gerbil– you know there’s always something to worry about. What’s more, what you worry about is a moving target: Just when you think you have a handle on the problem, something you didn’t anticipate rears up to scare the living crap out of you.

The Seven Stages of Anxiety

Infancy: Colic; SIDS; will I drop the baby on its head? Should we decorate the nursery in black and white for stimulation, gendered colors since you’re tired of people asking if it’s a boy or a girl and besides you actually like pink or blue, or a neutral color they can “grow into”; your baby’s measurements vs. the norm. (Note: The 20th percentile daughter I feared would be abnormally short has grown into a very slim 5’7”.)

Toddler: How to keep them from climbing on tables; how to keep them from pulling off all the baby-safe outlet covers and sticking wet fingers into them; how to stop them flinging food all over a restaurant while shrieking hysterically; whether they’re talking on schedule (how many five-year-olds do you know who don’t talk?); potty training (how many eight-year-olds do you know who aren’t potty trained?). Deep breath.

Kindergarten: Biting: It’s the law of the jungle—your kid is either a biter or a bitee; falling off the monkey bars and cracking their skull open; being “behind” the rest of the class; whether my son would have permanent nerve damage from putting his hand on the broiler-cooktop at Benihana. (He didn’t, though he still has issues with impulse control.)

Elementary school: Bullying; not having friends; having the wrong kind of friends; doing their homework; remembering to actually take said homework out of their backpack and turn it in; whether they suck at sports; ADHD; their exclusive diet of pizza, soda and candy.

High School: Drugs; sex; cutting class; smoking; not being able to get into college.

College: Drugs; sex; cutting class; smoking; not being able to stay in college.

Early adulthood: Not finding a job; not staying in a job; staying in a dead-end job; dating the wrong partner; dating the right partner but not committing; living too far away; living too close and wanting to stop by when it’s really inconvenient; not calling enough; calling whenever you’ve settled into a quiet night watching your favorite TV show; not telling you what’s going on in their lives; telling you too much about what’s going on in their lives and giving you new things to worry about.

The point is: For better or worse, your children have their own destiny. Once you’ve safely guided them through the early years, keeping them in one piece with a minimum of trauma and hopefully imparting a set of values and a sense of humor so they can make good decisions, your job is done.

I’ll always worry, but now that my kids are 25 and 30 I try to keep it to myself. Some days are more successful than others. Happy Mother’s Day!

Why I ‘Like’/Hate Facebook

Facebook was never envisioned as a community for us older folks—perish the thought! But that’s what happened. A lot of Millennials, including my own kids, have little interest in it. After all, they have myriad social media options these days and they aren’t old enough to be nostalgic.

Those of us who’ve now lived a proverbial nine lives—childhood, college/post-grad, several jobs, a few moves, countless Continue reading

Easy Peasy

What could be more springy and inviting than the cheerful green color of peas? This quick and easy recipe uses fresh or frozen peas to capture the brightness of the season.

Easy Peasy Quick Pea Soup

Ingredients

  • ½ cup minced Vidalia onion or shallots
  • Extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 TBSP minced garlic
  • 4+ cups of chicken or vegetable stock
  • 2 bags (about 2 lbs.) of frozen peas or equivalent amount of fresh, shelled peas
  • 1-2 tsp kosher salt, to taste
  • 1 tsp ground pepper
  • Tiny splash of fresh lemon juice
  • Optional: Greek yogurt; chopped scallions or chives; parsley; sliced ham, pancetta or prosciutto

Directions

  1. Sauté the onion or shallots in 1-2 TBSP of olive oil until they begin to soften.
  2. Add the garlic and cook for about 1 minute.
  3. Add the chicken stock and peas, 1 tsp each of salt and pepper, and bring to a boil. Lower heat to simmer, add lemon juice and cook for about 5 minutes.
  4. Add more liquid if soup is too thick. Season to taste if more salt or pepper is desired.
  5. Using an immersion blender, purée the soup until creamy.

Optional garnishes:

  1. A dollop of yogurt and a sprinkling of chives
  2. Fresh parsley
  3. Crispy ham, pancetta or prosciutto: Heat oven to 425°F. Roast pieces on a baking sheet for about 5 minutes until crisp, and crumble on top.

Yield: approximately 4-6 servings

Pillow Talk

Did you know that by the time your pillow is two years old, half its weight may be comprised of dust mites and skin cells, along with mold or mildew? YUCK. That disgusting fact alerted me that it’s time to replace our pillows. You too? First, I decided to do a little research—and save you the trouble!

Pillows affect sleep quality and how well we rest/recharge. Experts warn that the wrong pillow may contribute to neck and lower back pain, sneezing, and arm or shoulder soreness. Here’s a quick way to see if yours is past its prime:

Do a fluff test. A fluffy pillow means that fresh air can travel through it, which provides better cushioning and support. Fold your pillow in half to see if it unfolds on its own within 30 seconds.

Mine are definitely sluggish. That seals the deal: it’s time to go shopping!

I asked my chiropractor, who treats my chronic neck and shoulder stiffness, what to consider. He explained that you want to sleep with your head in neutral alignment, i.e., not leaning too far forward or back. The key is matching your pillow to your sleep position, which may mean that you and your partner need different types:

Back Sleepers need medium support. If the pillow’s too thick it pushes your head too far forward. If it’s too soft, your head sinks down to the mattress. Extra thickness and firmness in the bottom third will cushion your neck, and a pillow you can smoosh around lets you find the right level of comfort.

Side Sleepers need a firm or super firm pillow to help support the neck. A thicker pillow provides an even sleeping surface to help keep your head, neck and shoulders in a horizontal line.

Stomach Sleepers may not even want a pillow. If you do, choose one that’s soft and fairly flat to keep your neck in line with your spine and prevent extreme turning to either side. Placing a pillow under your stomach may help avoid lower back pain.

Mixed Sleepers (that’s me): People who shift sleeping positions during the night do well with a medium-thick pillow you can move around. If you usually wind up on your stomach, go softer.

Confirm your preferred position:

  1. When you’re about to fall asleep, spend a few minutes in different positions to see which feels most comfortable. If you lie on your back for a half hour and don’t nod off, for example, chances are that’s not your favorite.
  2. Notice your position when you wake up, and keep a list so you can compare over a few days.

Fill ‘er Up: There’s a seemingly endless variety of materials and terminology. Some experts suggest having a pillow “wardrobe” to meet different needs, but that can get awfully expensive. If you generally prefer a soft pillow but suffer from occasional neck pain, try using a travel or throw pillow to add extra support.

Down: Soft, lightweight and lofty, down—the inner plumage of ducks and geese—is the most luxurious of all fills and often the most expensive. “Loft” refers to the height of a pillow when it lies flat; i.e., low loft is thin and high is thick. “Firm” is industry-speak for compact while “plush” is pillow talk for cushier. If you want one that’s tall and squishy, for instance, pick “high loft, plush.” “Low loft, firm” will be thinner and more dense.

A natural insulator, down is resilient, breathable, can be moved around to give you support where you need it, and lasts longer than synthetic fills. The best pillows are supposed to last ten years. However, if you’re going to replace them after two years anyway, why spend a ton?

Fill power measures the volume of a single ounce of down, and more down equals more comfort and insulation. Look for fill power of at least 500. Below that level, the fill may contain a lot of feathers or small, damaged down clusters that won’t stay fluffy.

Feather vs. Down/Feather: Feather pillows aren’t as soft as down, and quills can poke through the fabric. A 50/50 mix is a better bet: it combines the softness of down with the firmness and springy support of feathers. Use pillow protectors to avoid getting jabbed!

Note: I’ve read that there’s no scientific evidence that down or feather pillows exacerbate allergies or asthma but there are lots of synthetic options if you don’t want to take a chance or have ethical concerns.

Down Alternative Fill is made of synthetic or natural fibers designed to mimic the luxurious feeling of down at a lower price. Brand names include Primaloft® and Down-Free™.

Like down alternative, synthetic fills such as polyester are hypoallergenic and machine washable.

Made from polyethylene and other chemicals, memory foam is a dense, sponge-like material that continually molds and adjusts to your head and neck. Pillows come in various shapes and offer good support, especially if you have issues with your neck, shoulder or spine.

New memory foam usually has a chemical odor, which may give you a headache. Before putting them on your bed, let the pillows air out for a few days in another room. Memory foam pillows don’t “breathe” and tend to retain heat. They’re best if you don’t move around a lot since they won’t adapt quickly to a different position.

Foam: Look for higher density to reduce breakdown and maintain support.

Latex pillows, made from the sap of rubber trees, are firm, elastic, resilient and come in different shapes. Latex resists mold and dust mites and may improve back and neck alignment, as pillows are often contoured for neck support. They stay cooler than memory foam but don’t have as much “give”, and they tend to be heavy as well as expensive.

Wool and cotton pillows aren’t susceptible to mold and dust mites so they’re another option for allergy sufferers. They’re generally quite firm—not the best choice if you’re a stomach sleeper or like a squooshy pillow.

Specialty pillows, designed for specific needs, may be helpful but research is inconclusive and they’re often costly. Caveat emptor!

  • Cervical pillows have extra cushioning in the bottom for neck support.
  • Water pillows can be customized for density and support, so they’re often recommended by chiropractors and physical therapists.
  • Cool pillows may be helpful for hot flashes and night sweats.
  • Oxygen-promoting pillows claim to increase oxygen in the blood by up to 29% to help you breathe more deeply.
  • Anti-snore pillows are designed to lift the chin to keep airways open. Worth a try if your significant other is keeping you awake!
  • Positional pillows claim to help people with sleep apnea stay in an ideal position and reduce tossing and turning during the night.

A few things to keep in mind:

  • More expensive isn’t necessarily better.
  • Higher thread count (minimum 300; experts recommend 500-800) means a pillow will feel plusher and be more durable.
  • Try before you buy. If you can’t lie down in the store (and don’t mind looking a little weird!) stand next to a wall in your usual sleep position with your head against the pillow, and ask someone to check if your head is tilting one way or another. It should align with your spine.

I’m dreaming of a good night’s sleep with some fresh, new pillowzzzzz!

 

 

Do’s and Don’ts for Your Visit to Lisbon, Porto and Beyond

For my last post about our recent trip to Portugal, I was inspired by the wonderful photography and stories of blogger The Insatiable Traveler and want to share some of my photos along with a few suggestions and observations.

DO pack hiking boots or sturdy shoes to manage the steep hills. I can’t say this enough!

DO eat a hearty breakfast. All our hotels included lavish buffets in the room rate, which set us up perfectly for a day of exploring.

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DON’T be intimidated if you don’t speak Portuguese. Learn a few key phrases and politely ask someone if he or she speaks English. Most do, especially in the larger cities.

DON’T speak Spanish instead. There’s a long history of discord with Spain, and Portuguese is not a dialect but its own distinct language.

DO venture into grocery stores. I love seeing how local products are different from the brands I get at home, and people are friendly and helpful.

DO rent a car and tour the beautiful countryside.

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DON’T expect world-class museums. If you’re used to the Louvre, Prado, British Museum, Met or Uffizi, you’ll find museums in Lisbon to be charming but not on the same level.

DON’T forget to look up, down and sideways. Many buildings still retain their original azulejos (tiles) and the cobbled streets often have intricate designs.

DON’T you wish your commute was this stunning? The São Bento train station in Porto is covered with tiles depicting festivals, transportation and historic scenes.

DO visit the port lodges in Vila Nova de Gaia and go wine tasting in the Douro Valley.

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DO try vinho verde, the light, refreshing “green” wine that’s young and slightly effervescent.

DON’T expect high-end shopping. Instead, splurge on local crafts and designers.

DO bring home some hand-painted pottery. Prices are way lower than in the States and the quality is magnificent.

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DO have lunch at Casa do Leão when you’re exploring the Castel São Jorge in Lisbon. The food is good and the view over the city is spectacular.

DO visit historic Coimbra, a short drive from Lisbon. It’s home to one of the world’s oldest universities — worth the trip for the ornate chapel and examination hall, medieval library (which maintains a bat colony to eat insects that could destroy the books) and academic prison, where misbehaving students served time. (Good thing this wasn’t my alma mater!)

DO try local specialties, such as porco à alentejana, an unlikely but delicious combination of chopped pork and tiny clams.

DO ride the tram (especially #28), an inexpensive way to tour Lisbon. However, DON’T bother with the pedi-cabs unless you negotiate a price; they can be more costly than a taxi.

DO visit the markets for the vast array of produce, snacks or lunch among the locals, and great people watching.

DO be aware that tips aren’t generally included in the bill. Leave 10%.

DON’T plan on eating dinner early, though it won’t be as late as in Spain. Most restaurants, even in hotels, open around 7:30 p.m.

DO have a fantastic trip and tell us all about it!

 

Many Ports in a Storm

If, like me, your idea of vacation involves good food and booze, I recommend you spend a couple of days in Porto, Portugal, the beautiful port city famous for port wine (duh).

Technically, we were actually staying in Vila Nova de Gaia on the other side of the Douro River, where – happily – the major port tasting rooms happen to be. We pulled up to The Yeatman, a grand hotel that fairly screams (in a quiet, elegant way) British Colonial Privilege. With its stunning views over the old town and river, it’s described on Trip Advisor as “majestic”, “gorgeous”, “amazing” and “spectacular” with “excellent service”, and it did not disappoint. Having spent 3+ hours in the car driving from Lisbon, we were anxious to get out and explore (code for “drink”).

We strolled down the steep streets to the water’s edge (be warned, it’s a LONG hike back up, especially if you’ve indulged in some wine tasting) to get the party started. Here’s a highly simplified introduction to port, for those of us (a.k.a., me) who didn’t know much about it:

Port is a sweet, fortified wine that’s created when fermentation is interrupted by the addition of brandy, which maintains the residual sugar of the grapes. It’s produced exclusively in the Douro Valley and is regulated by the Instituto dos Vinhos do Douro e do Porto. Portuguese winemakers blend a variety of grapes, each adding its own character and flavor, including Touriga Franca, Touriga Nacional, Tinta Roriz (Tempranillo), Tinta Barroca and Tinta Cão.

The primary families are white, tawny and ruby.

  • White, made from white grapes, ages for at least three years in wood casks
  • Tawny is made from red grapes that age in wood casks, gradually attaining its characteristic golden brown color. Tawny is always a blend of wines that have aged for different amounts of time, averaging the age (e.g., 10, 20, 30 years) shown on the label. Taste for notes of caramel and nut
  • Ruby maintains the fruit, color and strength of young wines. Expect berry and chocolate flavors
    • Vintage is produced from a single year’s harvest and bottled two years later. Not every year is considered good enough to be “vintage”. It improves as it ages in the bottle and a good bottle can be enjoyed decades later
    • Reserve is similar to Vintage though it’s bottled later and is generally best to drink soon after release
    • LBV (Late Bottled Vintage) is bottled 4-6 years after the harvest. It can be left to age (though only for a few years) but is ready to drink when released

All should be served at a cool room temperature, about 60°F. Port’s inherent sweetness lends itself to pairings with many types of cheese; desserts with fruit, chocolate or caramel; nuts; even barbecue or other sweet/smoky foods. Check out more suggestions and info at Wine Folly’s excellent website.

We only stopped at three tasting rooms since there’s a limit to how much sweet wine either of us could drink in an afternoon, and trudged back up the hill to relax at The Yeatman’s indoor infinity pool with views of the river, plus a curious peacock out on the lawn who couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t peck his way into the spa.

We concluded Day One with dinner at the Yeatman’s Michelin-starred restaurant, which began with several chef’s “surprises” (below, four of the 13 courses)
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I’m sorry to report that after eating such a rich meal, both my husband and I — “surprise!”– were hugging the toilet bowl a few hours later. But even though that was about $350 literally down the drain, I’d still rate it a memorable experience. Especially if your stomach is stronger than mine.

A few random travel tips for your next adventure:

  1. Pack a sleep aid (acetaminophen PM or prescription) if you have trouble adjusting to a new bed, room temperature, etc.
  2. Always have snacks and chewable antacids on hand. Traveling with me is like traveling with a toddler; I get REALLY cranky when I’m hungry.
  3. Have an extra book on hand in case of delays.
  4. Pack a corkscrew for that “emergency” bottle of wine to keep in your hotel room.
  5. Carry a magnifying glass so you can read the teeny-tiny street names on maps.
  6. One of my favorite products is Pure Illumination, a light-up lip gloss/ lip moisturizer with a mirror that also doubles as a night light.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I don’t get paid by any of the companies or products I mention; they’re just things I want to share with you. Bon voyage!

The Curmudgeon Chronicles

Although I believe in putting less negativity into the world, sometimes you just need to bitch a little. So today I’m going to sound like an old fuddy-duddy (a wonderful expression that first appeared in print around 1871) and share some observations that trouble me.

1) The dumbing-down of language. I should first admit that years of writing advertising copy have destroyed my prior knowledge of grammar and punctuation. (I now rationalize any errors as part of my “style”.) Some pet peeves:

  • The inability to differentiate “its” (possessive) from “it’s” (contraction of “it is”) and “lose” from “loose”
  • “I’m bored of…” vs.“bored with” – and why are you bored? You’re 22!!
  • “A couple” days/fuddy-duddies/etc. Where’s the “of”?
  • “Thanks for having me” vs. “inviting me”, unless it was indeed a sexual encounter
  • The overuse of “awesome”, which should be reserved for references to Yosemite, the pyramids, or God—not a latte with an extra shot

Check out the following job requirements I received from a recruiter:

“…High intellectual curiosity and hunger to learn in ambiguous environment.” Does this mean I’d be working in a place that looks like a dry cleaner but is actually a front for organized crime?

“Excellent written and vertical communication.” Are they asking the candidate to write while standing on a ladder? Having sex in a shower?

Also, when did “work stream” become a thing? Let’s reserve that for trout fishermen and gold miners.

2) The sorry state of education. In a recent survey, students at a Texas university did not know the name of our current Vice President, who won the Civil War, or when the American Revolution was fought (one student suggested 1677). However, all of these students knew the names of Brad Pitt’s current and former wives and what show Snooki was on. (Oops, I’ve ended with a preposition. It’s not easy being the Word Police!)

3) Breathless weather reportage. Haven’t we always had floods, snow, etc.? Today’s descriptions remind me of olives: “huge”, “gigantic”, “colossal”….

4) Hold times so long I could bake a cake from scratch while I wait for my utility, bank or Internet “provider” to pick up. Adding insult to injury, when I finally reach a human, he or she usually can’t “provide” a solution so I have to call back.

5) AT&T. You sign up for a monthly plan. Yet somehow every bill remains different, despite the fact that we never order a single movie or call exotic countries. WTF?!

Whew; venting is hard work! Please share your own pet peeves below and once you’ve gotten them off your chest, let’s all enjoy another glorious day!

Getting There Isn’t Half the Fun It Used to Be

I love to travel. But it occurred to me on my latest trip that it all used to be much simpler.

Here’s what I needed when I was in my twenties: sneakers, heels, slip dress, sweater, jeans, birth control, a couple of t-shirts. Hotel toiletries took care of the rest.

Here’s what I need now:

  • Prescription meds
  • Heartburn/diarrhea/constipation prevention
  • Allergy pills, melatonin for jet lag, vitamin supplements
  • Wet wipes
  • Airborne
  • Biofreeze for aches and pains + acetaminophen day and PM
  • Gold Bond powder and blister pads for my shoes
  • Cleanser, day and nighttime moisturizer, sunblock, eye cream
  • Wood handled Q-tips (hate those flimsy paper cotton swabs)
  • Color safe shampoo and conditioner
  • Sleep mask
  • Straightening iron
  • Comfortable shoes
  • Glasses, reading glasses, sunglasses

Luckily, clothes are less of an issue. As a native New Yorker I dress like a Sicilian widow. Hence, my travel wardrobe consists of black cargo pants, black jeans, black pullover, black cardigan, black boots. Plus two gray tee shirts for a splash of color.

All packed? Now, off to the airport. Allow two hours minimum to navigate airport security (thank goodness for TSA pre-check so I don’t have to unlace my hiking boots) and wait in line to board the “aircraft” (doesn’t that sound unsettlingly homemade?)

Hold on… I know my butt has gotten a bit larger over the years but the seats have definitely shrunk as well! These days, First Class is what Economy used to be and Economy is pretty much “grit your teeth until you land”.

Anyway, we settled into our pods for the overnight flight to Europe, looked at the dinner menu and waited for takeoff. And waited. And waited some more until we were told there was a “mechanical issue.” After an hour we were told to get off the plane because they were “waiting for a part.” Long story short, four hours later instead of flying from Houston to Munich for our connection to Lisbon (and don’t even ask how United figured that going 3 hours further into Europe made any sense)—a connection we would clearly miss—we were re-booked through London. I’m told the Munich flight did eventually take off that night, though everyone had to scramble if they were continuing somewhere else.

We arrived in Lisbon 5 hours later than expected and – surprise – discovered that our luggage had not. Sure enough, it had journeyed to Munich. Luckily, we were all reunited the following day and embarked on a delightful visit to Portugal.

Good thing I’d worn the hiking boots, as I had no idea the country is so mountainous. For any of you who haven’t been there, the cities aren’t easy to stroll around because, as my husband says, “There is no downhill in Portugal”. Nonetheless, the people are warm and friendly, the streets are clean, the tiled buildings are gorgeous and the food is fantastic.

But one other downside of getting older: Used to be, I could sleep anywhere and hotel rooms (and beds) were a luxurious upgrade compared with my cramped apartment. Now, though, no hotel bed is nearly as comfy as my TempurPedic.

After ten days of touring Lisbon, Porto, Belmonte and Coimbra it was time to head home. Once again, we were connecting through Munich and once again I was reminded of how much more pleasant air travel used to be:

We flew Lufthansa for the first leg and had seats A and C; the explanation being that they had taken out the middle seats in the business/first section. Hah. It turns out that B is still there; it’s just covered over with a permanent tray table! So not only do you have the same cramped seats as Economy but now you can’t even use both armrests or stretch over into the middle seat.

Have you ever come home from vacation feeling like you need a vacation?