I recently learned of sexual misconduct allegations against someone who used to be a good friend.
Although I am unfamiliar with all the sordid specifics or accuracy of these allegations, they don’t align with this individual’s character as I knew it. That doesn’t mean they aren’t true, but they just don’t jibe with my own experience.
As I was attempting to wrap my head around this, I started thinking about other victims we don’t hear about: an accused person’s friends and family. They may or may not have been aware of a problem. They may or may not have been complicit. But surely they must be experiencing some fallout themselves — perhaps from friends, family, colleagues or neighbors who want to distance themselves from someone connected to scandal.
That’s a pretty lonely place to be.
My point is, it’s always more complicated than the headlines suggest. And maybe, amongst all our collective outrage, we might spare a little compassion for #themtoo.