Tag Archives: alternative facts

Does This Font Make My Blog Look Fat?

Amid news reports that our new president claimed his inaugural crowd was much larger than it was (perhaps confusing “protesters” with “celebrants”), here are a few of my favorite fibs:

“No, you didn’t wake me.”

“The pasta’s perfect. Nobody really likes it al dente.”

“This old thing? I got it on sale.”

“I’m not dating anyone else.”

“The check is in the mail.” (Harder to pull off now that everything’s electronic.)

“Bald men are sexier.”

“Are you kidding? I LOVE your mother!”

“I haven’t had any work done, it’s just good genes and sunblock.”

” I wish I could, but I’m busy.”

“It’s exactly what I wanted!”

“Of course I remembered to pick up the (mail, dry cleaning, children).” – Usually spoken while executing a dangerous U-turn at breakneck speed.

“You were my first.”

“You’re the best I’ve ever had.”

“It was already cracked.”

Have a wonderful week. And remember, you’re perfect just the way you are. Really! xoxoxo