Very funny; thought you’d enjoy it (but not too much)!
The crime lord.
You would think that a guy that sits on the couch as much as I do, wouldn’t attract the law as much as I do.
You would think that a guy that drives like an old grandma that can barely see over her steering wheel, wouldn’t have as many speeding tickets as I do.
My life of crime started innocently enough. I was pulled over for the first time by a cop probably before most of you people ever even got a driver’s license.
I was 14 years old, living large in my grey Chevy Citation (ironic name considering what is coming next) and my parents let me drive without them for the first time. My friend and I went to a movie and decided to go the “strip” afterwards. I think that is what they called it, but it was essentially the place where all the…
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