I depend on my Garmin tracker to tell me how much I walk every day (usually not enough). And that’s all well and good, but what I really need is a tracker to monitor the life part of life.

Imagine it: A combination shrink, conscience, fairy godmother and enabler that could log how often we fib or ping us when we’re overdue for a brownie.

What I want to know is,

How many minutes per week do I spend on the following activities:

• Seeing friends (not just virtually)
• Texting my kids
• Buying the same item for the third time because I forgot I already have it
• Reading something actually worth reading
• Searching for missing socks
• Procrastinating
• Saying yes when I mean no
• Making excuses to telemarketers
• Checking e-mail
• Replying to e-mail
• Deleting e-mail
• Thinking about ice cream
• Urging my nails to grow
• Drinking good wine
• Yelling at the news
• Feeling lucky
• Cooking good food
• Stalking Colin Firth movies on Netflix
• Calling someone I haven’t called lately
• Planning a trip
• Sitting on my rear end contemplating nature
• Sitting on my rear end contemplating Masterpiece Mystery
• Watching hummingbirds
• Laughing
• Scheduling a meeting
• Ditching a meeting
• Pulling out grey hairs
• Avoiding a fight
• Eating junk food

Or is ignorance bliss? Maybe I’ll just go for a walk!